The Pieces are Piecing Together

A good friend of mine, Miss Faith Howell, whom I love dearly, gave me a remarkable piece of advice a few months ago,

If it is supposed to happen, things will start happening accordingly. Everything will be pushing you towards it. Problems will fix themselves. The urge will grow stronger. God will make it happen.

So, for lack of better words, everyone needs a Faith in their life.

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At the time, I did not understand this to its furthest extent. I agreed with her, but I never trusted it fully...until things, indeed, started lining up. So, why did I need this advice? What was my heart so afraid of? I was debating at the time over whether or not I wanted to move back home, to go back to the roots where my childhood grew. My mind was struggling with the concept of reckless decision-making. I was terrified that moving home was not the move I needed to make. But lo and behold, four months later, my mind is no longer disorganized and the pieces are piecing together.

I have decided to transfer to a different college, and head back to my childhood town come Fall 2025. The decision was not made lightly or sporadically. It has been weighing on my heart for roughly half a year. The idea of this has consumed me, almost like a nagging voice, "Home will be beneficial for you," replaying in my head. If you have read any of my previous entries, you would know I despise change, yet I chase it. I practically sprint towards something complex or something that increases my adrenaline. I hate change, but boy, do I love seeing growth within myself.

This year, for one of my resolutions, I had put, "Venture near and far," and who knew that far would land me in a community so near to my heart, yet so filled with unfamiliarity? The place I grew up in is not the same place I am returning to. The experiences I gained the privilege of gaining over eighteen years will be different than the experiences I will gain come the next two years. In 2022, I left my hometown, being distant from God, needing validation from others, being filled with self-loathing, and believing that because I was moving away, every difficulty at the time would vanish. I am moving back as a woman I fought so hard to reinvent in the image of God. So, Downriver is near to my heart, but so far from who I once was.

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All of the pieces connected within a month and a half. Six months of back-and-forth, "Should I?" and "No, no I shouldn't," abruptly stopped once I had put my faith in God. The second I threw away my plan for my life, God finally revealed His (Jer. 29:11).

My advice I would give you if you are in a state of yearning to pursue something, but are hesitant due to underlying, worrying factors: it's not as big and scary as it feels in your head. You are more than capable of changing your life if you feel inclined to do so. For me, the nagging voice was harder to get rid of; it was actually easier to take action on the lifestyle I desired. Life is not that complicated. If you do not like something, change it. If you like it, keep it around. The pieces will piece together if you are destined to do something.