Learning Slowly, in lowercase

I have always been the first to say,

"Social media is a tool and source of entertainment, but you need to know when enough is enough."

It can be so easy to become consumed with other people's lives and how to create a beautiful facade of your own. If only it could be all glamorous and perfect all the time, wouldn't that be great? I get it--I was in the same boat, but I was sinking there for a bit. It became too easy for me to post happy-go-lucky stuff all the time, even when my heart was indifferent to what I was posting.

"Fake it 'til you make it!"

And to that, I say, heck no. I do believe in that statement, but not in this case. Although faking it can feel thrilling at first, it'll catch up to you...fast. You'll begin to look at your content and think, "Wow, I look so happy in this," and remember you looked it, not felt it. And that is the whole picture: do you look back and smile at the wonderful moment, or do you smile at the comment or like count, feeding off the validation from others? That is the big question.

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I figured out when enough was enough. It took me a second, but I realized that the drowning feeling I kept dealing with was not being resolved by social media. The life jacket was not doom-scrolling. The treading water was not picking up my phone the second it buzzed. The fresh air was not my screen time being through the roof. The rescue boat was in the season of Lent.

For those who are unfamiliar with Lent, it is a time of fasting, prayer, and thanksgiving. Christians are expected to do one of the three, and for this year, I decided to fast from social media. Meaning, no social media for forty days. And I saw the opportunity, and I freaking ran with it. In fact, I decided to start two days before the season.

I was struggling for a good second there. I love posting about my friends, my family, what I am up to, what makes me happy, etc. And I had no problem doing so, up until around this year. I felt like what I was posting was not an accurate representation of my heart posture. I would repost happy stuff on TikTok, then feel guilty and un-repost it. I would repost sadder things, but then I did not want to be viewed as unhappy. It was a lose-lose situation, and I was, without a doubt, losing it. It came to the point where I was like, "Okay...what can I even post then?"

What better way to start a new age and a month into the new year than a little social media cleanse? Name something better, I'll wait.

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So, in celebration of the first week of the season of Lent and the first week off social media, I began wondering, "What is this season of my life teaching me?" And then I got slapped in the face...metaphorically.

It's as if God were holding up a sign saying, "Child, slow down."

I was treating my day-to-day life like it was a marathon. Waking up, running out the door, getting as many things as possible done, going out with friends, going home, and crashing at such a late hour was the norm. And it was an ugly norm. Although I had all the time in the world, I was not utilizing it to live. I just, simply, wanted to seem like I was.

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With the absence of social media and the distractions, my routine did a complete 180. No more doom scrolling when I open my eyes in the morning, no more spending 9+ hours on my screen, no more wasting the present moment trying to post something, etc. My mission was to learn slowly: learn what makes me happy, what overflows my cup, or what makes me forget about my phone. My life felt like chaos, and don't get me wrong, at times it still does. It feels like I was ignoring the bold, uppercase letters of my bad habits. So, we are learning slowly and patiently, in lowercase.

Here is what I've been up to as I ignore my phone:

Coffee shops

Nothing new--you guys should know this about me by now. If not, this must be the first entry of mine you are reading because I am like a broken record when it comes to coffee shops and spending all my time and money at them.

But they really are revolutionary; you feel inspired, connected, and in your own little world. Which is perfect for someone who got off of media to be in their little world.

Lately, I have been doing schoolwork galore at coffee shops. I loaded my plate up this semester, and boy, do I give my heart to coffee for allowing me to stay up and get this work done.

Along with school, I also spend my time at coffee shops by:

• Bible studies

• Debriefing with a friend

• Journaling/blogging

• Reading

This gets me out of my apartment and allows me to be around all sorts of different people. A simple smile from a stranger is something I could have missed with my nose stuffed in my phone.

And you best believe, I have not missed a smile since I gave up social media last week.

Moving my body

Another big shocker, huh? This is another hobby I have always emphasized, but by being off my phone, here is what I've done differently:

• In between my sets, I will either journal, pray, or talk to random people at the gym.

• I joined a few workout classes with my friend, Robyn. Spin class whooped our butts...so did pilates.

• I stopped overanalyzing what I look like because I am not sending pictures on Snapchat to anyone at the gym.

• I feel like my workouts have been more muscle-group-focused.

I have noticed how many people are on their phones at the gym. Some may be tracking their workout or texting friends or finding a new song, but I know I used to hide behind my phone.

I used to use my phone as a way to simmer my thoughts between my sets; to distract myself when, in reality, I was probably opening and reopening the same app without even realizing it.

I would be uncomfortable doing nothing between my sets, and now, I will literally force myself to stare off in the distance or at the cement wall and let my thoughts wander. It is quite exhilarating, actually.

Quality time with loved ones

Oh, how I love, love my village. Being able to spend time in the present, laughing, cuddling up on the couch, or getting lost in conversation with my girls makes my cup overflow.

& it is even better, knowing my friendships are the farthest thing from social media. And I am talking about the depth and love that stems from them, not their beautiful faces. I love posting my community online because they are wonderful people and they deserve to be shown off, but being able to know and see their hearts makes them even more special, and me even more lucky.

Some of the things I have done off social media with my girls:

• Went to the movies

• Grabbed some sushi for dinner (a couple of nights)

• Went to church

• Dance parties

I went to church the other weekend, and it was ironic because the pastor covered social media and its detrimental value to our generation. The pastor went on to say, "You can have 10,000 friends online, but when your life is falling apart, you need someone to be able to see it and be there." 54% of Americans claim nobody knows them to their core, and to that I say, put the phone down and make meaningful connections in the real-world, and get to know people.

Baking a bunch of goodies!

Thank goodness I have been getting my butt in the gym, because my feet won't leave the kitchen. I have been obsessed with finding yummy recipes on Pinterest--including these Cinnamon Blondie Bars I made the other night.

Now, I'll put it out there: I am no chef, let alone baker. Sometimes my work is a failure, but the whole process of following a recipe is quite relaxing. It is one of my many "grandma hobbies," which are what I refer to as my relaxing, off-grid hobbies. Baking, piecing together puzzles, reading, diamond painting, coloring, etc., are all my main "grandma hobbies." No offense to all the grandmas, because I absolutely adore these activities.

Not just baking, but having people taste-test my work is a big part of it, too. Whether I make these goods for my friends or my coworkers, I need some people to taste my work. And it brings so much joy.

It is just one of the many ways to get off your screen and experience life as it should be lived. If you want to take it one step further, try writing out recipes and making a recipe book, or ask your parents or grandparents for their recipes. This allows you to be completely off your phone and do it the old-fashioned way: pen and paper, baby, pen and paper.

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I mean, the list could go on and on. There are so many ways to avoid your phone, even if we live in a technology-driven generation. Sure, being online helps with connecting and networking, but nothing trumps having an actual conversation with someone in person. If I learned anything from this break from social media, it's how much we truly miss, and it is so sad. We miss the smiles from strangers, the old couples walking hand-in-hand, the shapes of clouds, and all the other little blessings we should be more aware of. Don't get me wrong, I love being online and posting my little life, but living in the present moment is irreplaceable by all means. Give it a try, and watch how that caps lock button turns off.