Be completely humble and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
I have seen the "ins" and "outs" for 2024 on my social media. "Ins" refers to what people will stand for in the new year, and "outs" refers to what will be kicked to the curb. It is a clever way to showcase one's New Year's resolutions. Some "ins" I have seen, for example, include drinking more water, having your phone on do not disturb, daily walks, etc. Some "outs" I have seen are unhealthy sleeping patterns, too much caffeine, diet culture, etc. People are creative with the trend; some are super specific, and others are just downright comedic. I am not going to list all my "ins" and "outs" here, but this trend got my gears turning to think about what I want to practice most for the new year.
I had an enlightening conversation with two of my friends last night. We were talking about habits we would like to alter and how we would go about it. We got to one of the biggest concerns, "I care too much about what people think," and, WOW, is that an "out" for 2024.
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To keep it sweet and simple for you, I want to put this into perspective:
Everyone is in the same position as you are.
What do I mean by that? This means that when you are walking into an empty classroom on your first day of school, you are not the only one worried about, "Oh my gosh, what if no one sits by me?" This means that when you are at the gym and you cannot for the life of you figure out how to work a machine, you have not been the only one to ask someone, "Can you show me how to use this?" This means that when you push a door that is meant to be pulled, your fingerprints are not the only ones smudged on the door from others doing the same.
You can spend so much time worrying about how others view you, or you can laugh it off and not let something small disrupt your peace. When you practice the mindset that we are all just trying to gain as many new experiences and create as many connections as humanly possible, you lose the concern of "what if they judge me?". Chances are you are your biggest critic.
As I was talking to my friends, we were all throwing out valuable advice on the subject. All of us agreed: if you truly want something, just go for it. You have two options as far as I can see:
1. You live according to someone else's standards.
2. You start living your life for you.
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The biggest takeaways I remember from people are their gentle words. A person is more recognizable by their personality than anything else. Kindness outweighs rudeness. Those who are warmhearted, thoughtful, or attentive to your lifestyle make more of a difference than someone insecure and unsatisfied with their character. An "in" for 2024 is pure, unconditional love. Whether that is a friendship or a relationship, either way, being a genuine, kind person gets you farther in life.
There is a woman in my youth ministry organization back in my hometown church that, when you hear her name, you connect her to the adjective saintly. She is the most considerate, sympathetic woman I have ever met. She puts her faith and her community first; I am convinced she has no bad bone in her body. Have I talked to her recently? No. Yet, I still hear her name and smile. That is the impact every single one of us should have with at least one person in our lives. You cannot tell me that is not an amazing achievement to have; knowing just your name can bring someone peace of mind.
No one is superior to someone else. If someone appears to have more money than you, they can also be struggling mentally. If someone appears to be an A+ student on the honor roll, they can also be struggling with time management and wish they had more of a community. If someone appears to be in the happiest relationship, they can be in couples therapy trying to fix a major issue. You have no idea what someone might be going through. Be kind. Be forgiving. Be gentle. We are all just trying to better ourselves and create a beautiful life. The last thing we need is constant judgment from one another.
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Small acts go a long way. When I say, be gentle, you do not have to find extravagant ways to make a difference. Simply, do something another would be astounded by. For example, I was visiting my close friend's apartment in the city and had to park my car in a parking garage. By the time we all stopped hanging out, it was midnight and I had to make the journey to my car...in the dark. I was not looking forward to it, but like I usually do, I was going to call someone to keep me safe. However, one of my friends offered to walk me to my car and although I denied the offer at first, they still walked with me to my car and made sure I got in safely. Small, but kind.
We are here to make a positive impact. We are not here to compete with or ridicule people. My friend did not have to go out of their way to make sure I was safe and sound, yet they did. The littlest thing made their character so much grander. Now, imagine we do a bunch of these random, simplest acts; we would make quite a difference in one another's lives.
In 2024, we need to prioritize gentle love. Being so kind to someone that you make their entire day (or even week). Nothing is more rewarding than seeing someone smile at something you did or said. You gain nothing from being rude but gain everything for having a beautiful heart. We are all going through the same emotions, same obstacles, and same worries--just at different levels and times. We are all in the same boat
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